My wife says I don't clean

Dear World's Greatest Guy,

My wife complains that I don't clean well enough but the truth is she only cleans what 'she' thinks is important. What should I do?

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It is very common for all of us, both men and women, to emphasize certain details over another in all manner of our lives. The way we work, drive, eat or play is mostly 'better' than the way other people do the exact same tasks.

Sometimes people can use a particular subject as a 'power item', an object that can become the symbol for ourself and the way we visualize the world. Power Items are especially important to recognize in any relationship. If not treated properly they can become the battleground for everything that is both good and evil in our relationships.

What you need to do is understand why 'cleanning the house' is her Power Item and to not turn it into a 'power struggle'. Communicate with your wife why you feel that you are not being treated fairly in this issue but be willing to comprimise on the subject.

As a side note:
Just to prove that you are up to the task of cleaning the house, do the 'white glove' test. After she has finished cleaning go over the same areas with a white glove (substitute a white clothe). First check to see if she did in deed miss certain areas, because you don't want to prove yourself wrong in your own house! Now that you have proof that you were right, throw away the evidence and never mention it again. Knowing is far sweeter the telling your wife she is wrong and looking like a crazy man for testing her on the issue!

The World's Greatest Guy